A couple of days ago I finished reading through the book of Ezra. One thing that really struck me is the concern that Ezra had for God's honor. For one thing, he doesn't ask the king for soldiers to protect them on their way to Jerusalem, because he wants the king to know that God is good to His people and able to protect His people:
8:21-23 "Then I proclaimed a fast there, at the river Ahava, that we might humble ourselves before our God, to seek from him a safe journey for ourselves, our children, and all our goods. For I was ashamed to ask the king for a band of soldiers and horsemen to protect us against the enemy on our way, since we had told the king, 'The hand of our God is for good on all who seek him, and the power of his wrath is against all who forsake him.' So we fasted and implored our God for this, and he listened to our entreaty."
Even though he's praying for protection, he's not doing so for his own sake, because he's afraid or just wants to be safe--he prays this way for the sake of the Lord's name, that the king (and others) would see God's faithfulness to His people.
Second...and this is the one that really struck me... in chapter 9, when Ezra finds out about all the Israelites who have intermarried, he doesn't go immediately to the people who sinned. Instead, he tears his garment, and then he goes to God:
9:6 "saying, 'O my God, I am ashamed and blush to lift my face to you, my God, for our iniquities have risen higher than our heads, and our guilt has mounted up to the heavens.'"
Wait...our guilt? Ezra didn't do anything! I mean, it's sad, but if this were me, I know I'd be praying "they," "their guilt," "those other people," you know, to make sure that everyone knew I wasn't a part of this. But Ezra isn't concerned with separating himself from "those other Israelites," or with his own reputation, or any of that. He's broken over the fact that God's people have sinned against Him; never mind the fact that Ezra wasn't the one who did the sinning.
9:13-10:1 "'And after all that has come upon us for our evil deeds and for our great guilt, seeing that you, our God, have punished us less than our iniquities deserved and have given us such a remnant as this, shall we break your commandments again and intermarry with the peoples who practice these abominations? Would you not be angry with us until you consumed us, so that there should be no remnant, nor any to escape? O LORD the God of Israel, you are just, for we are left a remnant that has escaped, just as it is today. Behold we are before you in our guilt, for none can stand befor eyou because of this.' While Ezra prayed and made confession, weeping and casting himself down before the house of God, a very great assembly of men, women, and children, gathered to him out of Israel, for the people wept bitterly."
...I want ALL sin to grieve me because it grieves God, and because I'm concerned for the honor due His name...but sometimes, I can be sort of double-minded in this: on the one hand, I really am grieved by the things that grieve the Lord. But at the same time, I can be pretty eager to have my own name cleared.
Not Ezra.
And soon, I trust, by the grace of God...not Danielle Vogt.
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